I recently wrote a story on sex and older Americans. It was approached from a clinical angle, but it made me wonder at what age we get too old for sex. Is it even an age? Perhaps it’s something that sneaks up on you, like when you suddenly realize it’s been at least three years since you had a really good orange.
I’m not going to lie. The mere mention of the topic of sex and older Americans to most of my friends elicited either shock or disbelief. Few wanted to imagine that people the same age as their grandparents even thought about sex, much less actually had it. Yikes! A few asked me, quite seriously, why anyone in their sixties or older would even be interested in having sex.

Why this odd suspicion at the thought of older folks having intimate relationships? Last year there was a well publicized study by the University of Chicago’s National Social Life, Health and Aging Project, published in the New England Journal of Medicine. It specifically studied the sexual attitudes and behaviors of folks 57 to 85 years old. The study found that good overall health was the key to an active sex life, NOT age. Healthy people in their 80s were still doing the deed. We should be happy to hear this. Growing older is still living!

According to the researchers, persistent taboos surrounding even the mere discussion of sex in later life contributes to a sense of shame in many older folks. Shame?! I think the population tidal wave known as the Baby Boomers will blow the doors off of any shame that may be attached to later life sexuality. At least, that is my hope.

Here’s another news flash for those of you who think there’s no sex after 65: older men AND woman not only think about sex, most miss it. That’s right. They would love an active sex life.

Okay, I’m going to say this just once: sex is normal, fun, and healthy at every age. Unless you are told by your doctor not to have sex, sex is good for you. It’s great for relieving stress and you know what, if you’re shy about your body for whatever reason, do it with the lights off. Better yet, get over yourself and get on with your life. We all get lumpier and wrinklier as we age.

I highly recommend the book, A Round-Heeled Woman: My Late-Life Adventures in Sex and Romance by Jane Juska. It’s well-written and a great read. Juska refused to believe that the only role left for her was as a sexless old lady.

Does a sex life end at 60 or 80? Let me know what you think.

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