I have been off on vacation. A great time. I went no where. I cleaned and rearranged things at home, getting rid of all those items I could not live without but of course, can. I saw friends, babysat my 7 month old grand-daughter and still continued to assist my 93 year old Mom stay independent and live in her apartment home.

About 15 years old my Mom sold her house and moved into a “senior friendly” high rise apartment. Secure, it has some activities, provides shuttle buses to and from senior centers and shopping. My Mom did great till about a year ago.  Now, she goes almost no where as she cannot walk long distances and uses a walker. She had increasing problems with short term memory loss which affected her taking her medications properly. She wound up in a hospital and was on home care when discharged. That was the easy part.

Her medications are every 12 hours. She wanted no part of any outside help. My brother and I work and we wanted to get some in home help. I cannot even begin to tell you how difficult it was to get her to agree. We told her it was that or move into an assisted living facility. So she finally agreed.

It remains difficult. The nursing assistant is wonderful. We are very lucky. My brother and I augment the nursing assistant with medication management. My Mom is doing well, sort of. We have someone to help with cleaning, I provide all meals already cooked and she uses microwave.

She really is failing and needs to go into an Assisted Living facility but absolutely refuses. It is a difficult time, emotionally, mentally and physically, for all of us. It is also expensive. The cost of care would actually decline and the quality would improve but we won’t do anything against her will. It is her right to live where she wants.

I came across a very poignant blog by a gentleman discussing his Mother’s decline and her and her family’s approach to this. He raises some interesting issues about how to prepare for the future.  His blog: Did AARP Rip Off My Mother, can be found here  http://jameswharris.wordpress.com/2007/09/08/did-aarp-rip-off-my-old-mother/

I would be interested in your comments.

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